rechelle's lifelyrics

The last couple of years, I have hosted Mother’s Day in our home in order to help my daughters celebrate their moms with me. My oldest daughter has two little boys, and she has managed to help me plan a special day for the moms in our family – and extended family – ever since she became a mom herself. I do my best to make her feel special as well. Even though she isn’t my mom, I am so proud of her, and I love celebrating the beautiful mother she has become. My oldest son married my best friends’ daughter, so I have loved including my friend and my daughter-in-law at our Mother’s Day table. A couple of years ago, my youngest son started dating a girl who was living with her grandma less than a half mile from our home. Because they were so young, her grandma wanted to meet us, and I instantly fell in love with her. We have had tea parties in the afternoon while Ray is working, and she has shared her sewing skills, home baked goods, and garden bounty with us through the years while we have watched our babies fall in love and start their newlywed life. She has also been a welcome guest at our Mother’s Day celebration. Our middle daughter and her husband moved to Tennessee to be close to his mom & dad, and to help in caretaking for his mom from time to time. I met his folks at the rehearsal dinner I hosted for their wedding, and we welcomed each other into our families with open arms. I count it a great privilege to have such a great love and friendship with the parents of each of our sons and daughters -in-law. I appreciate being honored on Mother’s Day, but my true joy is in the relationships I have and the people I can celebrate while being celebrated.

As Mother’s Day approached this year, I thought I was going to host the afternoon celebration until I realized I needed to go be with my girl and her husband in Tennessee. It was a last-minute trip, and they had already made plans with one of their pilot-friends (my son-in-law is a pilot for a major airline) to come over for a game night during the week. I wasn’t sure how things would be, but I was going to be there, and we would figure it out. So on the day of the game night, I decided to take a few hours to go to McKay’s Used Book Company while they got started with not one, but two pilot friends.

When I got back, the four of them were deep in the middle of a complicated board game, so I retreated to my room with my new book. The next board game was Catan, which I’ve played a few times, so I joined the party. Through the years, it has been very natural for me to “adopt” my kid’s friends and treat them like one of my own. I had only met the female pilot once at Kara & Justin’s wedding, but it was really a first for both of Justin’s friends to get to know me that night. During the course of the game, I would say words of encouragement, and congratulate everyone’s successes (normal for me, but a completely foreign dynamic for them). Before the end of the game, they came to understand I didn’t have ulterior motives, and they both seemed to accept me as “Mom.”  We played other games until late in the night. The next afternoon, another friend wanted to join in the spur of the moment reunion. Apparently, the timing was very rare for them to be available (not flying), and it had literally been years since they were all in the same room together. It was really interesting to be in this group where each new player went from suspicion and sarcasm to genuine acceptance and newfound appreciation for “Mom.” The fourth friend heard about the game nights, and decided to join the party after midnight since he was just completing his trip at a nearby airfield. They introduced him to me, and we started a new game. I said some kind words to the newcomer, and his friend made a point to explain that I was being sincere and not sarcastic! The bond was blooming with my kid’s friends just like the old days when I had a house full of teenagers.

The day before Mother’s Day was the first day I spent with just my daughter and her husband. (All of his friends were on their way home – ranging from 10 minutes to 2 1/2 hours away.) We decided to celebrate Mother’s Day that day, because I would be traveling to my spur-of-the-moment destination on Sunday.

I didn’t really know the treasure I had found at the bookstore until I was on my way to San Antonio, Texas. This would be my first solo traveling adventure on my way home from Tennessee, inspired by some conversation during game night with a group of pilots, and encouraged by my generous husband back home in Oregon. While I was searching through the aisles at McKay’s a few days before, I came across a book spine that caught my eye. “These Precious Days” by Ann Patchett was calling to me as a friend who would join me on my unpredictable time away from home. It turned out to be the perfect traveling companion for a Mother’s Day trip like the one I just had. One of the essays in the book is called “There Are No Children Here.” The author decided at a very early age she never wanted to have children, and even though the 23 “reasons” were presented to explain why, I was compelled to examine the qualities of a mother, and the ways in which many of her personal essays in the book illustrate her natural ability to fulfill the role of Mother with people other than her own children. One of the most poignant apologetics for her decision never have a baby of her own was the observations she made of her new colleague, Robin Preiss Glasser. Robin had invited her to write a children’s book together, which resulted in the two of them touring side by side for several weeks to promote the book:

“…She lived to stand in front of a roomful of children, to make them laugh and teach them something…”

“…Robin’s superpower: to love the person in front of her as she is, to see all the glorious light inside them and reflect it back, everywhere.”

What is Mother? The caretaker, the teacher, the selfless worker, the encourager, the nourisher. The one who sees the good in you when it’s hard for you to find it.

I lost my mom in a terrible divide more than two decades ago. I spent the first twenty years searching for someone to replace her. One day, I had to stop searching and simply decide I needed to be what I was looking for. Now my heart is full because I have found the joy in being a mother to many, and I can also celebrate the women in my life who embody the beautiful traits of Mother.