rechelle's lifelyrics

This week’s Website Wednesday started with an email from WordPress showing that my very small readership got even smaller last month. Even though I said I didn’t start this work for anything more than my own “dream job” where I could contribute what I felt from my heart week to week, I have to admit I felt discouraged at the thought that “no one” really cares about what I’m offering here. My youngest son and his wife came over for dinner that night, and I mentioned something about not doing my blog that day, to which my son told me he had been meaning to read some of the articles. He reminded me that I was doing this even if only my kids and a few other people out there enjoyed it.

It really got me thinking about my Why. If I’m not trying to become known or monetize my work, Why does it bother me to know my numbers went down by almost 50% for one month? So much of the work I’ve done in my life was not rewarded with a wage or recognition, so this feeling of discouragement was somewhat out of place. Though I know it is a very natural thing to want approval and enjoy positive feedback, I’m very glad for the reset I started to get with the conversation on Wednesday night. Then yesterday Levi followed up on our conversation by sending me a picture he found on my website page, “Rechelle’s Ruminations,” of prose I wrote in 2009 called “Looking Glass” with a little text that said, “You says it yourself mom.” My Why is right there in my own words, and I am grateful to be reminded.

Ray and I have been listening to the audiobook, “American Flannel” by Steven Kurutz after hearing about it on one of Mike Rowe’s “The Way I Heard It” episodes. The book is full of examples of people who had great energy and commitment to follow their heart against the odds, which has resulted in what I consider a great benefit to many. My Grandma was an amazing seamstress and she produced song books for our little church in southern California, but only a few people wore her specially crafted garments or used the hymnals that she had labored for countless hours to create.

This morning, I’ve been thinking of some wise words written by King Solomon thousands of years ago. “Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days…In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good.”

I am renewed in my commitment to just offer what I have, and let it go or be found after many days.